April 28, 2026|י"א אייר ה' אלפים תשפ"ו Are You Trying to Inspire… but Pushing People Away?
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A man once tried to convince his friend to start exercising. Every time they met, he’d shake his head: “You really should take care of yourself. This isn’t healthy.” The friend nodded politely and changed nothing. A few months later, the man stopped lecturing. Instead, he began inviting him: “I’m going for a walk along the beach. Join me, it’s really nice at sunset.”
The first time, the friend came just to talk. The second time, he stayed longer. By the third, he was the one suggesting it. Nothing about the message had changed. Only the tone had. And that made all the difference.
Dale Carnegie once said, “People are rarely persuaded by what we say. They are persuaded by what they feel.” Criticism may be accurate. Reproach may even be justified. But it almost never invites someone closer. More often, the stronger the passion we feel for something and the more we want others to adopt it, the more aggressive we get in recruiting them which builds a quiet resistance, the kind that smiles politely and then walks away unchanged.
This is true for encouraging others to exercise, get more sleep, or eat healthier. It is true for trying to influence others to keep Shabbos or kosher or dress more modestly. And it is also true for promoting Aliyah.
In a recent episode of Behind the Bima, I used an expression that touched a nerve. In a conversation with Mrs. Yael Leibowitz about her new book on Ezra, I used the term “Aliyah snob.” It was never my intention to insult or disparage anyone, particularly not those who have heroically uprooted their lives and moved to Israel. I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have hurt. Allow me to clarify what I meant and be more precise about the phenomenon I was referring to.
Despite my consistent and very public support of Israel online and offline, people regularly tell me that because I have not moved to Israel, I am the reason Moshiach is not yet here. Others have challenged me that if I really care about Israel I would move and that if I don’t, there is no point to my advocating for, posting about, or supporting Israel. Many tell me that if I would simply announce I was moving, the whole Boca community would follow, despite that being something that has never happened in history.
When I visit, people who are no more than acquaintances, or sometimes even strangers, belligerently urge, encourage, harass, challenge, and criticize me regarding Aliyah.
To be exceedingly clear: not only do I not have anything against anyone promoting Aliyah, I myself talk about Aliyah constantly and promote it unfailingly. In our community, each year we celebrate and honor those who make Aliyah. We host Nefesh b’Nefesh and Israel real estate seminars regularly, and partner to make Aliyah as seamless as possible. I regularly challenge members of our community to consider not if but when they will move to our homeland. I often share that while there are legitimate reasons not to move to Israel there are no legitimate reasons for not struggling with making Aliyah.
All of that said, the expression I have used for some time, “Aliyah snob,” is not about moving to Israel or directed at those who have moved or are planning to. It is about the language and methodology of how it is promoted.
Recently, Makor Rishon carried an opinion piece from its former editor, Haggai Segal, issuing a “final call” to American Jews and demanding that they make aliyah. “Dear brothers, you are traitors,” he wrote. “You are committing treason against us and committing treason against yourselves.” He believes it is time for a change of tone and that it is time to tell American Jews plainly what he thinks of them. Considering he wrote in Hebrew and in a newspaper that few American Jews have heard of let alone read, one must wonder how he thinks he accomplished that. He proposes that if American Jews don’t immigrate en masse in the next five years, the Israeli Rabbinate should essentially excommunicate them and that the Jewish Agency end its shlichim program.
Demonstrating, intentionally or unintentionally, that this problem is not new, Segal turns back to an ancient source when he references the Gemara which quotes Reish Lakish who addressed the Jews of Bavel and told them, “Eloka sanina lechu, God hates you” for failing to come up to the Land of Israel in the days of Ezra. What he fails to focus on is the result of that approach. Rather than heed the call of Reish Lakish’s rebuke, they stayed, built the community of Bavel and published the authoritative Talmud until today, the Talmud Bavli.
My goal is not to defend the Jews of Bavel nor of Boca for staying where they are. My point is to highlight that trying to convince Jews to move to Israel by telling them God hates them if they don’t, or that they are traitors to their people, didn’t work then and it doesn’t work now.
Whether such statements are fair is debatable, but what is clear, at least to me, is that they are unhelpful and unproductive. What makes someone an “Aliyah snob” is not their love of Israel, their promotion of Aliyah, or their calls to their brothers and sisters in the Diaspora to come join them. It’s their tone, their condescension, their sometimes outright smugness in how those calls are expressed.
You want to convince people to make Aliyah? Share the beauty of Israel and building a life there. Express the sense of religious and spiritual satisfaction and fulfillment by living Jewish destiny in the Jewish homeland. Quote sources and advance arguments for why one ought to consider moving to Israel. But dismissiveness, condescension, judgment, condemnation, and name-calling are unlikely to change minds and addresses.
This isn’t true only about Aliyah, of course, it applies to any virtuous behavior or decision we want to persuade someone to join. I would (and often do) say the exact same thing about inspiring people to keep Shabbos, keep kosher, exercise, or make any other positive choice or change.
Nobody ever started keeping Shabbos because a rock was thrown at them or because they were told that if they do not, they are a bad Jew. People embrace Shabbos because they were lovingly invited to experience it, shown its beauty, exposed to its meaning. They were invited to learn about why it is important and right for them.
Similarly, nobody makes Aliyah because the proverbial rock is thrown at their head or because they are told they are traitors or bad Jews or the reason Moshiach won’t come if they do not. People don’t make Aliyah because they are told there is no future where they live, the writing is on the wall, or it isn’t safe to stay where they are.
I also believe there should be some reflection and self-awareness among a certain subset of this group. The most amusing Aliyah snobs are those who spent a significant part of their lives living outside of Israel, but when the moment and time is right for them to go, they no longer can understand or tolerate how everyone is not coming with them. The same people who felt justified living in the Diaspora until circumstances and drive were just right and brought them home, become bewildered, shocked, and intolerant of anyone who has not moved exactly on their timeline or according to their expectations. When Aliyah is weaponized, it is not only not inspiring or convincing, it is counterproductive and alienating.
I can only share what speaks to me and positively contributes to making me struggle with Aliyah and what doesn’t. When I see or hear aggressive judgement and harsh criticism in general or directed at me, it turns me off and pushes me away. When I read or watch people share how profoundly meaningful, joyful and rich their lives are by living in our homeland, I crave and want what they have.
Let’s expose our diaspora communities to more of the energy and people of Israel. Let’s organize more trips and missions to experience communities that can become future landing spots. Let’s share and learn Divrei Torah that frame where we are in history and invite us to be part of shaping our destiny.
If you’ve found meaning and sacrifice, whether in the context of Aliyah or any other aspect of Jewish life, I respect and envy you. Share the joy you are experiencing and the kedusha and beauty you are exposed to. Share it daily. But please, whether its Aliyah or any other virtuous choice, don’t be a snob.
Be an inspiration instead of a critic and we will want what you have.