June 14, 2013|ו' תמוז ה' אלפים תשע"ג Having "The Talk"
Print Article
Instead, the most difficult talk today between parents and children is one that is unfortunately not taking place enough. While the world is generally a safe place and the people our children are exposed to are almost always appropriate and safe, sadly the threat of abuse is real. Research has consistently shown that the most important and effective tool to protect our children is education. As loving and trusted parents, we have the capacity to safeguard our children, but it means having a difficult and uncomfortable conversation.
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, a respected voice on the topic of child safety education (whom we hope to host next year for a Shabbos), identifies four points to communicate to our children in order to be empower them to protect themselves and to transform them into difficult targets for predators.
Too many parents are avoiding this talk because they think they will introduce their children to a topic that will make them fear adults and worry excessively. However, the experts explain that rather than fear adults, children will feel safer knowing they can trust their parents and they will feel empowered to protect themselves going forward.
Should God forbid issues arise, the best way to respond to our children is to tell them that we believe them and that we will react appropriately. Halacha (Jewish law) is clear that safety concerns must be reported to the appropriate authorities and all mandated reporting laws must be observed. Remaining silent, covering up, or excusing inexcusable behavior leaves other children vulnerable to abuse and trauma that will haunt them their entire lives and do what can be irreparable damage.
There is no easy or pleasant time to have this conversation, but as parents it is irresponsible to delay. As many children prepare to leave to camp this week, it is a perfect time to remind them of the four points above.
May our children remain safe and may Hashem grant us the courage to act appropriately and responsibly in dealing with these issues.